Losing Faith in God?

 

Q. Losing Faith in God?

Q. My brother has told me he doesn’t believe in God anymore. I know he hasn’t told our parents, and he’s still going to Mass and Communion with us. What should I do?

A. First of all, it shows that you love your brother quite a bit to be concerned about this. That’s a good thing. Keep that love for him strong. Sincere love can often do far more than any words.

Without knowing the specifics of your brother’s situation allow me to offer some general thoughts on this in the hope that at least some of these thoughts will help.

Interestingly, going through a faze like this while growing up could actually be a sign of a good thing. Sure, it’s never good to lose faith in God. But I wonder if something deeper isn’t happening. What I mean is that, in some ways, this is a very normal part of growing up. As a child we are taught to believe in God and usually we do. We have the simple and authentic faith of a child. As we grow and mature that faith must also grow and mature and we must choose to believe on a deeper and more personal level. In other words, we must believe because we really do believe. The problem is that sometimes things get in the way of that process.

For example, something heard on TV or perhaps even said in the classroom may have had the effect of confusing your brother about some aspect of his faith. Though it’s not good to be confused, often the “confusion” one goes through is a result of trying to figure things out and understand. I think that this process of “doubting” is often more of a time a “questioning.” Perhaps your brother told you he no longer believes because he was looking for you to help him to believe. Perhaps it was even his way of asking for help in sorting things out.

If that’s the case then I suggest one of the best approaches for you to take is this. Wait for your brother to say something about this again and when he does simply smile and gently ask him to tell you more. And then just listen. Listen to what made him think this way. Let him explain it. Let him talk about it. Regardless of what he says I would encourage you to spend most of the time listening and trying to understand. If he makes some good points and you have a good answer then go ahead and offer that answer if he will listen. If, on the other hand, you’re not sure how to respond then simply tell him that. And then spend some time thinking, praying, studying and asking god for the right answer. If you need to you could even go ask your priest. Once you feel like you have a good answer look for another opportunity to share that with him. He may be impressed that you took his concern seriously and tried to come up with a good answer.

As for his continuing to go to Mass and Communion, it’s true that we should not go to Communion if we do not believe. But I’d leave that to your brother and God for now. Your brother may actually believe more than he has let on. And going to Mass may be one of the best things he can do during this time of struggle. But in the end, if you feel quite burdened by this it may be good to talk to your parents about it and let them prayerfully talk to your brother. They will most likely have some good ideas on how to proceed.

When we forget about God, do things go bad?

Q. When we forget about God, do things go bad?

A. Yes, indeed they do.  But it’s important to understand what “go bad” actually means.  Interestingly, if someone forgets about God, meaning they turn from God, they may still have a so called “good life” as defined by the fallen and sinful world. Thus, an atheist may become very wealthy, be popular and be successful in a worldly way. But if they lack God, and gain the whole world, things in their life are still quite bad from the perspective of truth and regarding true happiness.

On the other hand, if your question simply means that you do not actively think about God for a moment or two, but still love Him and have faith, then that’s a different question.  God does not punish us just because we forget to think about Him all day every day.

Let’s look at that question with some analogies to better answer it:

If a fish were to forget to live in water, would things go bad for the fish?

If a person were to forget about eating, would that cause a problem?

If a car were to be without fuel, would that make the car stop?

If a plant were put in a closet without any light, would that do harm to the plant?

Of course, the answer to all these questions is “Yes.”  A fish is made for water, humans need food, a car needs fuel to operate and a plant needs light to survive.  So it is with us and God. We are made to live in the life of God. Therefore, if by “forgetting about God” we mean we separate ourselves from God, then this is bad and we cannot find true fulfillment in life.  If this continues unto death, then we lose God and life for eternity.

The bottom line is that without God we lose everything, including life itself.  And if God is not in our life, we lose that which is most central to who we are.  We lose ourselves and fall into a life of sin. So don’t forget about God!